so, it's been a while...

why hello there !

long time no blog ;)

to be honest, for months now i've had "bring back the blog" written on my to do list. and i've wanted to ! i just haven't quite been sure how, or what i'd even say.

and honestly, i still don't know. but i thought i would just start. starting is the hardest part, right? so, here i am starting!

i haven't particularly figured out what i would ideally like the happy girl blog to look like. just like casual little journal entries? maybe? or more written pep-talk-style?

all i know is that it's here. i made it. and i want to use it!

so, i guess we should catch up, right?

i quite often the question "how are you?" quite difficult to answer ! because majority of the time, i have no idea how i'm doing. at some points i'm doing great, i'm excited, i'm motivated, i'm inspired. at other points i'm stressed, i'm lonely, i'm overwhelmed, i'm anxious, i'm sad.

but quite often than not, i'm a multitude of things at once. which isn't always easy to put into an answer !

but overall, honestly i've been really well and have so much to be thankful for.

i've definitely had a few hiccups and bumps on the road the last few months. but overall, i really am okay.

i did turn 21 last month! that was exciting!!

i really am quite excited about being 21. i've always loved the number because it's my birth date! so yes, my 21st was my golden birthday on the 21st 😋

i honestly did feel so special and full and loved. which i am beyond grateful for, like truly, beyond words. feeling like people genuinely wanted to celebrate me, i was actually shocked and touched, and just so incredibly appreciative.

i did also just spend the last two weeks away with all of our family friends.

it was truly the best time ever. like, no understatement. it was the best time. so much so, that i was even sad to go home. i'm never sad to go home ! don't get me wrong lots of times it's very bittersweet, but i do always get excited about the idea of coming home and getting into a routine again. but this time? pure sadness.

it's been a few days now since i've gotten home, and i am settling in and doing better. and really grateful to be back home! back in my room! i went back to church after almost a month which was so lovely!

so i'm all okay. but honestly, yeah still a bit sad about having to leave that trip.

i did bring my Bible while i was away, and did a few little readings when i found time to myself. i've been doing that since i've gotten back to, which has really brought me a lot of peace and comfort. there are just so many sweet verses out there to read, i'm really thankful to be enjoying reading the Bible so much. it's never something that's come naturally to me. but i'm really genuinely enjoying it. especially in my own time. i do run The Christian Girl Group, which is an online community for Christian girls, which don't get me wrong, i love. i really truly do, i'm so sure that it's what God wants me to be doing. but it is just nice, getting to read the Bible on my own, in my own time, without it being something for that group. because as silly as that sounds, that kind of is "work" for me. i write daily devotions and i do Bible study zooms. so it's just nice, to have my own personal time in the Word.

now that i'm home, i think my goal is to just feel as balanced as possible. we're in the last little stretch of the year, and i really just want to make the most of it. i want to set some goals to be working towards. i genuinely love working hard! so i would love to work as hard as i can over the next couple of months. like, i'm hoping to do launch a new Just Joy product soon, i've been working on it this week, which I'm excited about. and also i will hopefully be doing a few markets for Just Joy too! i do already have 2 booked in, and hopefully will have another 1 or 2 booked in soon too! market season is always very busy, but i am looking forward to it. i haven't done a market since April! it's been nice to take a break honestly, i find that they can be quite full on, but i really am excited to do a few ones before Christmas.

but back to the feeling balanced thing - i am wanting to work super hard. but also just taking care of myself and my mind. ideally that would look like not overthinking, allowing myself to slow down and unwind, giving myself grace with what i do and how i spend my days (i work myself up to feeling so much guilt about what i do and feeling like i don't do enough or work hard enough, which can be quite a big weight on my mental health. so ideally trying to avoid that feeling) and just the fun simple things, like getting outside lots, moving my body to feel good, doing different offline hobbies.

i just want to feel balanced in all aspects. that's my goal right now.

and i did of course, make a pinterest board. because if you know me? well enough said!

it's wednesday now as i'm writing this, my first week back after holidays. and so far, i think we're doing okay. i've been trying to make the effort to leave the house when i can (often when i'm having a low day, that's something i neglect which leads me to feel worse). like yesterday, i woke up feeling pretty low, and i knew there was very little chance of me getting my to do list done in my room. i knew if i got myself out of my environment, i would feel better, so i got myself to the library, and guess who got their to do list done? me !

i do at some point want to get back into filming youtube videos too - it's been really fun getting more consistent on there this year. i've genuinely never been consistent at youtube until this year ! i took a little break to go away on my holiday, and now that i'm back, i just need to find a moment to pick my camera back up again. i definitely could have done that by now, but i think i'm just trying to ease myself back into everything. especially after still being a bit sad about leaving.

so, moral of this story. i'm trying to take it one day at a time. doing my best. and trying to just give myself grace. because i want to make the most of each day.

so i think that's me. i think that's about it, for now at least.

i still don't really know what this blog is. or what it should be.

if you have any ideas or thoughts or suggestions, feel free to let me know. i'm like 99% sure you can comment on these ! if you're even still reading this laugh out loud.

okay, bye for now.

jess